Yakuza 0 is littered with strange side quests — today, we’re picking over the weirdest of them.
By Jack Pursey
Published Mar 12, 2021
As the name suggests, the Yakuza series isn’t afraid to touch upon heavy subjects as players delve into the brutal world of organized crime. However, Sega’s series ensures that the games don’t take themselves too seriously?by?juxtaposing its hard-hitting side with some of the most?lighthearted and?humorous sequences?in all of modern gaming.
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Not only are players able to indulge in hobbies like karaoke, dance, bowling, baseball and darts, but they can also supplement their main adventure with bizarre, hilarious, and ultimately memorable side quests. The ten substories on this list offer the great, melodramatic entertainment that helps make?Yakuza 0?one of the most enjoyable single-player experiences currently available on Game Pass.
Some games have quests where players must save people from burning buildings, others where they?need to?kill a group of bandits, and some where they must settle interspecies diplomacy issues in the year 2183.?Yakuza 0,?on the other hand, has a quest where players need to distract an audience as a performer dressed as a statue heads to the toilet.
Players need to make tough decisions like whether to dance, sing, or tell a riddle to let their street performer pal use the bathroom without anyone noticing. We’ve all been there.
Miracle on Tenkaichi Street is a quest that was seemingly kicked through Hollywood, as it features numerous pop culture references. Along with the title that alludes to?Miracle on 34th Street, there’s Miracle Johnson (Michael Jackson) and?Stephen Spining (Steven Spielberg) who?directed the hit film “Indian Jeans” (Indiana Jones), among other odd references.
Players need to aid Miracle as he shoots his latest video by fighting off numerous zombies, a reference to Michael Jackson’s iconic music video, Thriller.
The Arakure Quest is bound to hit home for anyone who is still struggling to buy an Xbox Series X|S or PlayStation 5.
Thankfully, digital downloads mean that players don’t have to deal with stock issues for individual games today, but that wasn’t the case in the late 80s when?Yakuza 0?is set. Therefore, many people had to wait in painfully long queues to secure the latest release, which is exactly?how Arakure Quest begins.
The quest will soon take an unfortunate turn, as a young child who queued for the game has the disc stolen. Arakure Quest then turns into a crime spree, as the thief is then robbed by another thief, who?is then robbed by yet another thief — “there’s always a bigger fish.” Finally, Kiryu will fight the final thief to get the game back before realizing that it’s the boy’s father, who stole the game to help build a bond between him and his son.
Just like the previous entry,?The Shrink-Wrapped Dream involves Kiryu winding up in a more complex situation than he ever could have imagined when trying to help a concerned-looking child.
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Kiryu is happy to help when he hears that the child simply wants to buy a magazine but quickly realizes the issue when seeing that the magazine isn’t exactly child-friendly. Still, Kiryu is happy to help but doesn’t want the women in the alley to see him and judge his actions, leading to a stealth section where players need to buy the material undetected.
It’s common for prequels to implement easter eggs or subtle details about the games that come later in the series chronologically.?Ryu Ga Gotoku Studio takes this to a whole other level in?Yakuza 0?by putting outright spoilers in one of the side quests. This may seem like an odd move from a game studio, but the spoilers are done in a very inoffensive and funny way, as they are told by a fortune-teller who?is clearly very skilled at her profession.
The fortune teller can be found in the Champion’s District. Players won’t have to pay for the service, as they are rewarded with it after saving the teller from someone simply known as?Scathing Skeptic.
Some people find their partner through online dating, others through work, and some with a blind date.?Goro Majima, on the other hand, just needs to walk down the street for a woman to run up to him shouting, “Be my boyfriend!”
Majima will soon realize the reason she is so forward with him is that she needs someone to pretend to be her boyfriend to avoid her father from setting up an arranged marriage. Players are thrown into the deep end as they meet the lady’s father in a cafe and must give a convincing performance as her partner.
Kiryu certainly doesn’t seem like the sort of person to turn down an opportunity, regardless of how grossly underqualified he is for the position. The side quest that best exemplifies this is The Show Must Go On, as Kiryu winds up being a show’s?producer?since he seemingly can’t?say no to anyone.
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After someone admires Kiryu’s “bold demeanor,” he is approached for the role and begins work. The player then finds themselves in a few tricky situations.?They are asked numerous questions involving?show producer jargon,?which they must decipher to ensure that they don’t blow their cover.
Having a?bold demeanor is clearly an advantageous?trait in the world of?Yakuza 0.?Just like the last entry, Kiryu’s?toughness earns him a job. This time, it’s a group of rockers who need Kiryu’s assistance, as they have persuaded their fans they’re hardened criminals despite being the polar opposite.
Kiryu tries to make the musicians look credible by telling them what to say during their performance. Depending on how nice players are feeling, they can either help the rockers out by telling them to say things like “I spend my free time fighting all day,” or they can sabotage the poor souls by suggesting they start the show with “dearly beloved, we are gathered here today.”
Mishearing someone can be a real, awkward pain. Everyone can relate to asking someone to repeat what they said multiple times, before giving up and pretending they understood what they meant after losing all hope of ever knowing what on earth they’re saying.
Kiryu doesn’t seem to have any patience at all, as after hearing?a foreign woman named Samantha say that she’s in trouble and needs a “bizza,” he assumes that she means pizza and that she’s just a pizza enthusiast who believes eating it will solve all of her issues. After fetching?Samantha a pizza, it becomes clear that she meant a “visa” so that she can stop working for a pimp. The pimp arrives, Kiryu beats him up, the pimp and Samantha decide to get married, and the three of them eat the pizza to celebrate;?a story as old as time.
If someone were to tell you that a game features a questline where you must train a dominatrix in a park, you’d probably think it was some banned game from the 80s made by one very strange person. Hearing that there’s a quest like this in?Yakuza 0, however, will barely raise an eyebrow?for anyone who has played any of the games.
After coming across a struggling dominatrix in the street,?she will explain that she is tentative to do her job as she doesn’t like to be mean, encouraging Kiryu to take her to a local park and teach her a thing or two about the profession, before hiding in the room where she performs her service to see how she does. It’s safe to say that this isn’t a quest that?gamers will want to play with their parents around.
NEXT:?Fallout 4: 10 Secret Side Quests Everyone Missed
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About The Author
(263 Articles Published)
A gamer since the age of 3, Jack is knowledgeable about virtually every genre of video game under the sun. He has a soft spot for platformers and collectathons though, and still hasn’t given up hope of them making a serious resurgence!
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